When the world is not well
A therapists thoughts from (what feels like) the end of the world.
“Everything’s fucked” - literally everyone I’ve spoken to lately.
Undoubtedly, people around the world, through the centuries, have thought exactly the same thing - though, perhaps worded differently - about the time they lived in. In our digital age, the awareness of global suffering is constantly available to us, enhancing the negative aspects of humanity, shaping our worldview and leading us to a sense of doom. Engaging with world events can feel overwhelming, hence this years World Mental Health Day focusing on the impact of being exposed to news coverage of conflict and crisis. It strikes me that the impact of actually experiencing conflict and crisis is far worse and the need for safety and healing feels urgent and desperate. So many lives, across the globe, are being devastated and destroyed by a few powerful people - the majority of whom are white men who will literally do anything except go to therapy.
Why we see the world as unwell (a.k.a “fucked”)
In the era of smartphones and 24 hours news notifications we have a unhealthy awareness of every single thing that is going wrong. This constant access to distress, destruction and drama through our devices exacerbates our brain’s negativity bias, giving us the impression that the world is completely on fire, all the time.
The meme of the decade
Recently I made the mistake of clicking on an an article from a local news source and now every second post on my Facebook feed is about a stabbing, horrible accident or vague, click-baity reference to a street with “police cordon in place”. If I were to judge where I live by my social media I’d never leave the house because it sounds like The Purge out there. These messages communicate “danger” to our nervous system, and we can have a threat response to what we’re reading/watching despite actually being safe ourselves. Our brains are confused - are we OK or not? Where and what is the threat? And what do we need to do to stay safe?
Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud’s theory of repetition compulsion - that people unconsciously play out, over and over, painful events in a (usually) futile attempt to resolve them with a different ending - goes a long way to explaining global conflicts that we are witnessing right now. For those aware of this repetition there is an added sense of despair; the mindless pendulum swing of power and the seemingly endless cycle of destruction that we take turns inflicting on each other are beyond depressing. The visible signs of nature in distress adds weight to the hopelessness that I hear many clients, friends and community members expressing. Whatever side of any conflict you are on or align yourself with, the sense pervades that the world, and it’s people, is not OK.
“I’m hearing that you’re experiencing violence, economic instability, depletion of natural resources and that all the people in power seem untrustworthy at best. You mention one of the most powerful people in your life is <checks notes> “an orange skinned reality TV star with a hairstyle that defies the laws of both physics and fashion, and the communication skills of a toddler” …it’s understandable that you’re exhausted and don’t feel safe.”
Is being anxious actually the most appropriate response?
One particularly healing experience in therapy is realising that you make sense. Even if some of your thoughts or behaviours are unhelpful , there’s a reason for them. Removing the judgement and shame and replacing them with understanding and compassion is an important shift. Applying this to <gestures at everything> we can see that anxiety and depression in response to both personal trauma and devastating world events is not “insane” or even “maladjusted”. This concept is hardly new, with many writers expressing more eloquently than I, as this article - from which the below quote comes from - explains.
“‘It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society’”
Understandable as it is to struggle with our mental health, I’m not advocating for giving up and accepting the status quo. I believe in the possibility of better. For everyone. We are part of nature, and all living things have an innate desire to live. To grow towards the light.
What can one human do?
Is it time to start hoarding canned goods? Or go whole hog and go live off grid in the forest? Devote (more) free time to attending protests and campaigning? Scream into the void? Or just pick up a book and pretend none of it is happening? Reader, I have tried all of the above and whilst some are more appealing than others (I’m really flying through my TBR pile!) my personal experience is that they are not the answer.
In therapy, when a client presents a tricky problem, we do a few things. We sit with the feelings it brings up. This is hard, but necessary. We get curious about how the problem came to be…what events led them here, who contributed, what mindsets and beliefs are relevant. We explore what a solution - or at least the beginnings of one - would really mean and look like. Then, we craft the first few steps towards change that is within their control. Ultimately, through the experience of a safe and nurturing relationship, the client shifts from a fear based perspective to a more hopeful one. They still feel anxious or upset about the difficulties they face, but they are now holding both fear and hope. Self expression, connection to a compassionate other and new perspectives give weight to their hope and they find the courage to keep going, through the messiness and uncertainty of it all.
“If the world is to be healed through human efforts, I am convinced it will be by ordinary people, people whose love for this life is even greater than their fear.”
Holding both
My word, that I chose at new year, for 2025 is ‘paradox’. It was inspired by a comment renowned therapist Esther Perel made on a podcast: “it's not a problem that you solve but a paradox that you manage”, a statement I have returned to again and again in my mind when encountering complex human problems. Managing a paradox means holding two seemingly conflicting things at the same time, such as ‘the world is full of wonder & beauty’ and ‘everything is fucked’. Both are true, and coming back to the perspective of holding both is how I recommend we maintain some sanity.
It’s no good to bury our heads in the sand (denial) or refuse accountability (which is to infantilise ourselves) for our part in the problems of the world, such as contributing to carbon emissions, being unkind to someone or participating - even unwillingly - in systems of oppression. Yet being crippled by guilt or overwhelmed by the scale of the problems doesn’t help either - this is a trick of binary thinking; you/the world is either good or bad, a saintly or sinful, saved or doomed. Binary thinking is, unfortunately, something our brains are prone to but we can override this with mindful self awareness. It’s also more common when we’re stressed or upset, so learning to regulate is key.
In a previous blog I wrote that “the point of looking after your own mental health – in the face of all the chaos, trauma and conflict – is that your sanity is the fire break. Your personal peace is a resistance, a wisdom and a safe haven for yourself and others.” I went on to write about practices and mindsets that help create personal peace in a world ‘on fire’ so do check that out if it would be helpful to you.
“Meliorism: the belief that the world tends to improve and that humans can aid its betterment.”
Meliorism, whimsy & compassion
As it looks like those pesky world leaders and psychopathic billionaires aren’t going to therapy any time soon (and maybe there are some people even the likes of Gabor Maté couldn’t help?!) we’re going to have to find ways to at the very least survive and hopefully even thrive the rest of our time on this crazy, beautiful planet.
The way forward that I suggest is not elegantly worded, deeply profound or even very original. It’s this: be silly and kind. If we are rearranging deckchairs on the titanic, let’s do it in a way that represents the best of what it means to be human. As Oscar Wilde said: "life is too important to be taken seriously". We must resist what tries to destroy us by illuminating our joy. We must fight our foes with unshakable humour and rise above the expressions of hatred with a million, precious little gifts of love.
Sigmund Freud in rubber duck form. A wonderful, whimsical gift from a therapist friend.
Reflection:
What funny or sweet thing have you experienced lately that’s made you think “maybe we’ll be ok?”. Can you find a way to share the story with others and/or inspire this feeling in a loved one?
What does being whimsical look like to you? How does it make you feel?
