The parable of Maybe
During my exploration of Buddhist philosophy I discovered the work of Alan Watts. One of his teachings that’s always stuck with me is The Chinese Farmer Story. Or, as I think of it, The Parable of Maybe:
Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”
The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.
I like to remind myself, and sometimes my clients, of this story often -
In good times to remind myself not to get too boastful or complacent (though it is OK to celebrate of course!)
and in bad times, to remind myself that I don’t yet know where this difficulty will lead and what will happen tomorrow.
Ultimately the story of the Chinese farmer tells us that we don’t yet know how the story will end and so we mustn’t be so quick to label an experience as good or bad. I can think of many examples from my own life where something good has come from a difficulty or there was a hidden downside to something I thought was great at the time. The truth is that most things are too nuanced to be boiled down into good/bad binaries and that this polarised way of thinking can leach the colour and beautiful complexity from life. It can be uncomfortable at first, but ultimately more freeing, to live in the land of maybe.
